When I was younger, I hated going to parties. I never felt comfortable: I didn’t do small talk well, and I felt awkward just standing there. My most common feeling was that I didn’t belong. Ask any teenage girl if you want to know how painful it is not to belong. Book clubs, FB groups, …
The green fecundity of spring brings an equal explosion of bugs. The air around the waking maple tree vibrates with the hum of bees; the sugar ants march endlessly across the bathroom counter; the first wasps of the season make their hot and hurtful presence known; and then there are the ticks. First notice came …
Many of my friends put some pithy quotation across the bottom of their emails. The extracts vary from “I have a photographic memory; unfortunately it was never fully developed” to a definition of liminal space. But one quote occurs repeatedly. Originating with medieval mystic Julian of Norwich, it reads, “All shall be well, and all …
For me, it starts in the gut: it registers that I’m feeling anxious or even nauseous since reading that news article. For someone else, it starts in the head: noticing there is an endless loop of some distressing event playing in their mind. For yet another, it is felt in the heart: a weight on …
In the book Unshakeable by trauma therapist Jo Ann Rosen, there’s a discussion of anchors, those simple practices that return us to awareness. Rosen speaks about anchors because trauma responses bypass all our good skills. We forget what we know and react instinctively. Instinctive reaction may be the perfect response when a rattlesnake is rattling, but it’s …
Margaret Wheatly, in her book “Who Do We Choose to Be?” argues that our culture is at the end of its time. Every civilization, she says, goes through a predictable cycle. Wheatley places us firmly in the “decadent” phase, which is the last step before chaos and dissolution. Wealth, celebrity, and entertainment are central; compassion, …
Whenever an angel shows up in a sacred text, the first thing they say is, “Be not afraid.” This is akin to a doctor’s visit that begins, “Why don’t you sit down before we talk about these test results?” Angels tell people not to be afraid because the next thing they’re going say is sure …
There are some big things facing us these days: “us” collectively as in the human race, and “us” as in my little family. Some of those collective big things are so big—global climate change, vicious politics—that I have no idea how to repair, heal, or change them. Sure, I know how to complain; I also …
I have a friend whom I will call Georgianne, because that is not her name. She is a brilliant and deep human being, whose career was sidelined by Covid. Over the past four years, she has struggled to sort out what her work is. Not how to support herself, but what she should be offering …
I have been reassembling our freezers, moving turkey and frozen wontons and homemade soup from the inside freezer to the newly empty outside freezer. It’s empty because friends have been able to go home: their frozen chickens, applesauce and tomato paste have gone home, too. I am also re-assembling my office. Strewn across desk and …
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